Adam - First and foremost, I am deeply saddened to hear about Tommy. It sounds like you were lucky to have him as a friend, and he, you. It takes a lot of courage to share one's feelings about a traumatic, unexpected passing so soon after it occurs. Our thoughts and emotions are not always perhaps where we would want them to be. The coming days will be hard for you. If I may, I'd like to share some things I learned myself when coping with an untimely loss in my family some years ago.
Losing someone like this will make us ask ourselves certain questions. It will make us question our sense of self: What is left of me, now that this person who mattered so much is gone? It will make us question what we really believe: What does my belief structure have to say in the face of such a context-shattering disaster? And it will make us question our sense of control: What can I really do in this world when I could not prevent this awful thing that has happened. If you have not asked yourself those questions yet, you probably will. It is a natural part of grief. Give yourself time to answer them.
I will also offer this. It sounds cheesy, and it kind of is, but it helped me a great deal. It was told to me by the same grief counselor who shared with me the three questions I mentioned above. Grieving is like launching a boat into the ocean from the beach. At first, the waves are so big and they toss your boat, threatening to overturn it. But the farther out you get, the less the waves rock you, and the more steady the boat becomes. A rogue wave may occur, but you have been on the water long enough to handle it. The water will never be fully still, but it will feel still when you have been on it long enough. You are the boat. The ocean is your grief. Your distance from shore is time.
Much love and strength to you in the days ahead, Adam. They will not be easy, but your love for Tommy will be with you every step of the way.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It takes a lot of vulnerability to reach out when grieving and it's difficult to know how to process. I lost a friend this last spring and it leaves a mark. I hope you and those who knew Tommy can find healing.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. He’s with God now and feeling no pain. Prayers for you and your loved ones! It’s so hard to lose someone close to you, especially so unexpectedly.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend who was basically your bother from another mother. Look for him in the rianbows and the wind! He will be there! Live your life the way he would have wanted you to. Always moving forard and siezing the day!
My heart goes out to and your friends family. It’s not easy to lose someone who is closer than blood.
Talking about him will help to heal but will always keep him alive in your heart. Keep your memories close but share them too. Live life to the fullest, just as he did. Blessings!
I am just so heartbroken! It still doesn’t seem real! I will always love Tommy! I know that Tommy appreciates that you always believed in him! You were more than just a good friend to him. Even on the mountain, you never gave up on him. He will be greatly missed! He had the best smile that was contagious! And gave the best hugs! He seemed to pop back into my life when I needed him most! God speed Tommy!
I am so sorry for your loss! What a tragic story. Thank you for opening up and sharing your feelings with all of us, what an inspiration! Life is short, and we need to live it fully and be grateful for everyone we love while they are still with us.
Adam what a beautiful and poignant truth you have shared! The impact of our loved ones is eternal and constant, even when they are no longer sharing in our mortal journey. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us so we can be your “Sam” and help you carry this burden.
Adam - First and foremost, I am deeply saddened to hear about Tommy. It sounds like you were lucky to have him as a friend, and he, you. It takes a lot of courage to share one's feelings about a traumatic, unexpected passing so soon after it occurs. Our thoughts and emotions are not always perhaps where we would want them to be. The coming days will be hard for you. If I may, I'd like to share some things I learned myself when coping with an untimely loss in my family some years ago.
Losing someone like this will make us ask ourselves certain questions. It will make us question our sense of self: What is left of me, now that this person who mattered so much is gone? It will make us question what we really believe: What does my belief structure have to say in the face of such a context-shattering disaster? And it will make us question our sense of control: What can I really do in this world when I could not prevent this awful thing that has happened. If you have not asked yourself those questions yet, you probably will. It is a natural part of grief. Give yourself time to answer them.
I will also offer this. It sounds cheesy, and it kind of is, but it helped me a great deal. It was told to me by the same grief counselor who shared with me the three questions I mentioned above. Grieving is like launching a boat into the ocean from the beach. At first, the waves are so big and they toss your boat, threatening to overturn it. But the farther out you get, the less the waves rock you, and the more steady the boat becomes. A rogue wave may occur, but you have been on the water long enough to handle it. The water will never be fully still, but it will feel still when you have been on it long enough. You are the boat. The ocean is your grief. Your distance from shore is time.
Much love and strength to you in the days ahead, Adam. They will not be easy, but your love for Tommy will be with you every step of the way.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It takes a lot of vulnerability to reach out when grieving and it's difficult to know how to process. I lost a friend this last spring and it leaves a mark. I hope you and those who knew Tommy can find healing.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. He’s with God now and feeling no pain. Prayers for you and your loved ones! It’s so hard to lose someone close to you, especially so unexpectedly.
I am so sorry to hear about Tommy. Praying for God to provide peace and comfort to you, your family and all that knew him.
Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
May good fortunes come your way, for you are blessed. You are loved.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend who was basically your bother from another mother. Look for him in the rianbows and the wind! He will be there! Live your life the way he would have wanted you to. Always moving forard and siezing the day!
My heart goes out to and your friends family. It’s not easy to lose someone who is closer than blood.
Talking about him will help to heal but will always keep him alive in your heart. Keep your memories close but share them too. Live life to the fullest, just as he did. Blessings!
That is so so sad. I’m so sorry. Hiking just seams so safe. I would never expect such a thing!
I am just so heartbroken! It still doesn’t seem real! I will always love Tommy! I know that Tommy appreciates that you always believed in him! You were more than just a good friend to him. Even on the mountain, you never gave up on him. He will be greatly missed! He had the best smile that was contagious! And gave the best hugs! He seemed to pop back into my life when I needed him most! God speed Tommy!
I am so sorry for your loss! What a tragic story. Thank you for opening up and sharing your feelings with all of us, what an inspiration! Life is short, and we need to live it fully and be grateful for everyone we love while they are still with us.
Adam what a beautiful and poignant truth you have shared! The impact of our loved ones is eternal and constant, even when they are no longer sharing in our mortal journey. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us so we can be your “Sam” and help you carry this burden.
Thank you for sharing. Tommy’s passing makes me reflect and appreciate the people in my life.
Thank you for sharing your story and sorry of the loss of a true friend and family member. My condolences to all who loved him and those he loved.
So sorry to hear about Tommy and what you and your family are going through. Sounds like a great guy and friend.
Thinking of you and Tommy today. I’m so sorry for your loss.💙